Regression
by nongenius
Summary: The Scoobies get turned into children, set between Checkpoint and Blood Ties.


**TITLE**: Regression  
**AUTHOR**: nongenius  
**SUMMARY**: : The Scoobies get turned into children, set between Checkpoint and Blood Ties.  
**RATED**: PG  
**SPOILERS**: Through Buffy season 5  
**FEEDBACK:** nongeniushotmail.com  
**ARCHIVE**: More than likely okay, but please ask first  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of these characters, though I really wish I did. Unfortunately, for me, they all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox.   
**NOTES**:  Written for **holdthatthought**'s _Fanfic Junk Drawer Challenge 3_. Requested by **Sadbhyl**.

* * *

Dawn walked into the Magic Box, tossed her backpack on the floor and fell into the chair next to Xander. Reaching for the nearest book, she flashed him a smile. "So, what monsters are we researching today?"

Xander smiled back. "We—"

"We are researching. You are doing your math homework." Buffy's shadow fell over the table. Dawn looked up at her sister's all too familiar expression, complete with crossed arms, out-thrust hip, and the ever-present raised eyebrow of contempt. "You," Buffy continued, taking the book, "are still too young to be reading about monsters and demons."

"Fine." Dawn picked up her bag and stomped to the stairs. She turned and tried to glare at Buffy, who had of course already forgotten all about Dawn's entire existence. And to make matters worse, Buffy was flirting with Xander and he was totally falling for it. And he totally deserved better.

The sound of giggling floated up from behind one of the bookcases, and Dawn went to investigate.

"Willow! Tara! Hey, what's up?" Dawn waved at her two favorite witches. Willow and Tara quickly jumped apart. Tara turned a deep crimson and wouldn't meet Dawn's eyes.

"Uh, nothing, just.. uh," Willow stammered, "doing research." She quickly grabbed a book off the shelf and started flipping through it.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "It's okay, you guys. I know you're in like a relationship. Or something."

Tara turned even redder, and even Willow got a little pink in the cheeks. "So, Dawn, got any homework I can help you with?" Willow changed the subject.

"No. I don't need any help," Dawn muttered, turning away and started walking back towards the front of the store.

"How much do you think she knows?" Dawn heard Willow ask. "She seems too young to, you know, know," Tara answered. Dawn's eyes narrowed. As if she wasn't already thirteen years old and developing all the necessary girl parts to understand how all that kissing stuff worked. Or at least pretend to understand. She reached the stairs and threw herself down.

Dawn was just getting into her algebra, when she suddenly became aware of a foot in her back, which was followed by a rain of warm gooey liquid and Anya.

"Eww! What is this? Is it in my hair? It's going to ruin my hair, isn't it?" Dawn pushed herself up, trying to wipe herself off without touching whatever it was she was covered in. "I'm going to have to shave my head and be the bald weirdo no one talks to!"

"Dawn! You're in the way!" Anya pushed herself off the floor. "That's a $50 bottle of Grodnjinin ceremonial ointment that I can't sell anymore because it's in your hair! Don't you have some place else to be? Don't children spend their time at playgrounds or sleepovers?"

Dawn crossed her arms and glared. "I'm not a child."

"No, you're just a nuisance who's making me lose money. Who's going to pay for that?" Anya advanced on Dawn, waving her arms wildly.

Xander stepped in, pulling Anya away, coming to Dawn's rescue like the hero he was. "Anya, it'll be okay. Let me help you clean it up. I'm sure Giles will understand."

"Giles is an idiot at business. I don't understand how he ever makes money with his business practices," Anya groused.

"I'm right here, you know. I can hear you." Giles approached, holding out a towel. "Here. Clean yourself up and try to find a place less, er, prominent to do your studying." Giles was always giving Dawn looks that came with a shake of the head, but somehow it was okay from him. He gave those looks to everyone, even perfect little Buffy. Dawn took the towel and thanked him.

"Buffy, can I go home now? Please? I want to clean this gunk off," Dawn pleaded with her sister.

"Not now. I have to figure out what happened last night. Slayer duties and all. Can it wait just a little longer?"

Dawn crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. Stupid Slayer duties. Anyone could be the Slayer. It's not like Buffy earned it, she was just chosen. At random. And it was probably a mistake in the first place.

"I'll take you home, Dawnie," Xander offered with a smile. Dawn did her best to suppress a sigh, and smiled broadly.

The drive was short and quick, and Xander kept trying to make her laugh the whole ride there. By the time they pulled up to the house, she had almost forgotten about the grossness she was covered in and didn't want to get out of the car.

"Thanks, Xander."

"Any time, kiddo."

"I'm not a kid!" Dawn jumped out of the car, making sure to slam the door extra hard.

"Dawn, wait!" Dawn heard Xander open his car door to follow her, but she ignored him and ran into the house. She stomped up the stairs, slammed her bedroom door, and went to survey the damage.

The thing in the mirror looked like it had been bathed in red jello. Dawn let out a scream.

"Ugh! I hate my life! I'm not a child. I'm not a kid! They don't understand! I'm tired of being treated like a seven year old! I wish I could treat them like they were seven. All of them! Especially Buffy!"

The jello-like substance in her hair began crawling. Dawn screamed and watched as it coalesced into a face. "It is done," it whispered before evaporating off her head and escaping out the window.

* * *

Spike crawled out of the sewer and ran into the back door of the Magic Box, tossing his blanket on the floor. He patted out his smoking arm and looked around, disappointed that he hadn't walked into one of the Slayer's training sessions. She always looked damn good when she was hitting something. With a shrug, he headed for the main part of the store, pulling out a cigarette as he walked.

It appeared that Giles was the only Scooby in house today. No bother. Good old Rupert was always fun to irritate. "So, mate," Spike started, pausing to light his cigarette. He blew a flume of smoke in Giles' general direction with a smirk. "What's going on?"

Giles rolled his eyes. "Spike. Of course. Will this day never end?"

"Problems, Rup?"

"Only trying to track down a child-eating demon before it kills again."

"Buffy'll get it. No problem. Where is she anyway?"

"That is the problem." Giles looked towards the back of the store.

Four young girls seemed to be playing a game in the back of the store. Three girls had formed a triangle around the fourth, and were tossing something back and forth.

"Give it to me!" the little blond in the center yelled.

"You have to catch it," the girl with two red pigtails teased before tossing the prize to a mousy, shy looking girl.

"Taraaaaa," the blond whined, advancing on the little girl. "Give it!"

The shy girl backed up with each step, looking like a cornered deer in headlights. "H-help. Please. Don't hurt me," she started to cry.

"Oh you big bully!" The fourth girl ran up behind the blond and pulled her hair. "That's for Tara."

The blond girl shrieked. "Giiiles. Anya's not being fair! Can I hurt her?"

Giles sighed. "Now, now. What did we say?"

"No hurting humans," the girl crossed her arms and kicked at the floor.

"Only monsters. Now play nice." Giles watched as the girl ran back to her friends. "Bloody hell." He glanced at Spike. "You can close your mouth anytime."

Spike seemed incapable of doing anything of the sort. "You mean that's—that's…"

"That's Buffy."

* * *

A noise from below jolted Dawn out of her near catatonic state. She had to find Buffy.

Just as she was reaching for the front door, she heard the noise again. She spun around and felt a scream rise in her throat.

"Dawn, honey, you look like you've seen a ghost!" Her mother stepped towards her, brow wrinkled. "Are you okay? Want to lie down? I'll make you some soup."

"No, I just. I forgot something at the Magic Box. My algebra book. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Okay." The wrinkle on her mother's brow remained. "Be careful."

Dawn grabbed the doorknob and was outside before she could change her mind. She flew down the walk and collided with a young boy who was bent over, watching ants.

"Ow! That hurt! Dawn you're so pushy!" the boy cried out, holding his elbow.

"Y-you know me?" Dawn shuffled backwards. "How do you know me?"

"Duh," the boy rolled his eyes. "I'm just friends with your sister, that's all." He stood and gave her a stern glance. "But you better not try any of that kissy stuff on me. I know you like me, but girls have cooties and I don't want none of it." After a moment, his face brightened. "Come on! Look at all the cool ants!"

Dawn looked at the goofy smile on his face and knew immediately what hat happened.

"Xander? I think we need to find Buffy."

"Yeah! Buffy loves ants."

* * *

"Spiike." A small voice jarred the vampire out of his shock. He looked around, not seeing anything.

"Spiike!" A sharp pain in his leg forced Spike to look down, where his eyes met those of the little blond girl. Buffy.

"Wanna play a game? Huh? Do ya?" Buffy smiled.

Spike glanced at Giles who had pulled some books out and was working on a way to fix things. A part of Spike was telling him to help fix things, but another part of him was intrigued by the idea of getting to know a younger Buffy. As long as he'd known her, the weight of the world was on her shoulders, aging her well beyond her years. The clear sparkling eyes in front of him were completely carefree.

Spike smiled. "I'd love to play a game."

* * *

Dawn ran into the Magic Box, dragging Xander behind her.

"I don't want to go to the Magic Box! You can't make me!" Xander screamed, trying to wriggle out of Dawn's grasp.

"You wanna bet? Come on! We have to get Giles."

"Oh look! There's Willow! Willow!" Xander wrenched free and ran towards a little red headed girl playing in the corner.

Dawn swallowed hard, hoping Giles had managed to escape her wish. She needed him to help her figure this out.

"Giles? Giles are you here?"

"Dawn?" Giles walked out from behind a bookcase, age intact. "Dawn, we seem to have a problem."

"I know. I found Xander." The boy was running around the room, arms extended, making airplane noises. "He's younger."

"Yes, Tara, Anya, Willow and Buffy seem to have suffered the same fate. I'm researching regression spells, but so far haven't come up with much." Giles walked to the table where he added two books to the already massive pile.

"Giles," Dawn started, chewing on her lip, "what do you know about some kind of Grody demon ceremonial thing? It looks like red jello."

"Grodnjinin ceremonial ointment? The Grodnjinin are an ancient race of demons, with great natural magical ability. Luckily they're a peaceful race, or things could get messy. At the Grodnjinin coming of age ritual, the demons smear a blood like substance over themselves, which intensifies their magic for three days. If they can resist abusing the extra power, they are accepted into the clan. If not, they are killed and eaten at the acceptance festival. Incredibly intriguing culture. Why do you ask?"

"Why do you sell it?" Dawn pressed.

"People believe that if they put some on themselves it will give them powers, or grant wishes. Potentially dangerous, but the effect only lasts for two days."

"Oh." Dawn considered her options. She could tell Giles what happened, which would probably result in a lecture, or she could wait it out. It was only two days, right? What could go wrong?

* * *

"Dawn!" Buffy had spotted her sister. Spike smiled. Little Buffy's enthusiasm was absolutely adorable and infectious. He watched as Buffy ran to her sister.

"Dawn! Wanna play a game?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Buffy, I don't have time for games. I have important things to do."

"But Dawn, it'll be a short game. I promise." Buffy smiled at her not so little sister.

"Buffy! I just said I don't have time for it," Dawn snapped.

Spike watched Buffy's bottom lip push out and begin to quiver. He knew that look.

Buffy was trying not to cry.

* * *

Dawn looked down at her sister's face. She knew the pouty bottom lip meant Buffy was about to cry. A part of her felt bad about it, but a much bigger part of her was reveling in being able to treat Buffy like the baby she really was. Dawn tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"Buffy. I said leave me alone. Go away." Dawn waved in the direction of the children playing tag behind the bookcases.

Buffy began to sniffle.

"Now, now, what seems to be the problem here?" Spike strode up, his black coat twirling around his feet.

"Dawn's being mean," Buffy whined, a single tear spilling out over her cheek.

Spike got down on his knee. "Are you going to let big bad Dawn make you cry?"

Buffy shook her head, wiping at her tears. "No."

Spike smiled. "Why don't you go play with your friends over there, and I'll come play with you in a minute. How's that sound?"

Buffy smiled, tears drying up almost instantaneously. "Okay." She ran off, giggling.

Spike whipped around to face Dawn. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Dawn crossed her arms. "What are you getting mad at me for?"

"Oh I see. You're just going to take advantage of your sister's condition to make her cry? Real mature. Sounds like something one of them would do," Spike nodded in the direction of the children. He held Dawn's eye for a moment, the went to join Buffy.

Dawn could feel her face flush. Spike had made her feel all of two feet tall. She hated that.

Dawn turned back towards Giles. "Giles, the Grody demon thing. Is there any way to make the wish go away once you've made it?"

"You can use the counter ritual. Smear the semen of a Grodjinin upon yourself and unwish it. Why are you so interested in Grodjinin demon rituals?"

"I got some on me. Earlier. I might have made a wish."

Giles took off his glasses, brow creased. "What kind of wish?"

Dawn hesitated, glancing over at the children playing happily in the corner.

"Dawn." Giles stood, advancing towards her. "Did you have something to do with this?"

"Well…" Dawn couldn't bring herself to look at Giles. She could already imagine the exasperated and possibly angry face he was making.

"You should have told me immediately! I can't believe you waited this long. There's a child-eating demon out there that Buffy, in her current state, is not only unable to stop, but is also now a target!" Giles yelled.

"I'm sorry!"

Giles turned moved quickly to the back of the store. "Damn!" He rounded the counter where he pulled out a ledger. "We're out of the counter ointment."

"You mean—"

"The new shipment comes in three hours."

"Is there anything I can do?" Dawn asked.

"I think you've done enough." Giles glared at Dawn. "Don't make any more wishes."

* * *

Dawn sat on the steps, sulking. Why did everyone seem to think it was okay to treat her like she was six? God, if everyone got treated like they were six every now and then, maybe they wouldn't do it so much. Xander, Giles, even Spike had all managed to make her feel completely insignificant today.

"They'd see. If they were treated like they treat me, they'd understand and stop. I just wish—" Dawn stopped herself, her eyes going wide.

She didn't actually make a wish, right? It wouldn't work, would it? She had to make sure.

* * *

"Hah! I'm Spike! I'm a big bad guy. And I have super powers, and big weapons and I'm going to hatch a totally evil plan that'll get you all!" A little bleached blond boy was running around, shouting at all of the other kids.

"Nuh uh! Cause I'm a super hero! I just don't have my cape right now because my mommy is washing it for me, but if I had my cape I'd kick your butt and stop your evil plan and take you to the police and have you put in jail for trying to be mean to me!" Buffy yelled back, running after Spike.

"Oh yeah? Well you better be glad I only fight with super heroes who have their capes, or I'd beat you and put you in my prison and feed you nothing but mushy peas and onions." Spike stuck out his tongue.

"Ewww! Mushy peas and onions! That's so gross." Buffy wrinkled up her nose.

"I like mushy peas. They're my favorite, after bangers and mash, of course. And scones. I love scones." A prim, chubby boy in round glasses added.

"Giles!" Willow ran up to him and hugged him.

"Eww! Let me go! And my name is Rupert! Rupert, you silly twit." Giles wriggled free and ran away.

Dawn did her best not to faint.

* * *

Dawn spent the next few hours doing as much research on child-eating demons as she could. This was all her fault, and as annoying as they all could be, she wasn't going to let some child-eating demon eat all of her friends. She checked the clock every few minutes, hoping the deliveryman would hurry up and that the counter ointment was clearly labeled and not too gross.

Finally she heard a knock at the back door. She checked on the kids, who had laid out in the training room for naps. Convinced they were still sound asleep, she went to answer the door.

"I have four boxes here for a Mr. Giles."

"Okay. Just put them inside the door," Dawn opened the door wide.

"I need someone to sign."

"I'll sign," Dawn offered.

"An adult needs to sign."

"I'm not a child," Dawn protested.

A sound came from behind the truck. Dawn looked up and saw a large creature with horns and a donkey like snout approaching, with a small tennis shoe dangling from its claws. It was one of the child-eating demons she'd read about.

The UPS man screamed, and dropped his clipboard. Leaving behind his dolly, piled with the boxes for the Magic Box, he jumped into his truck and sped off, leaving Dawn to fend for herself. Typical.

The monster sniffed and growled. "Child. Yummy child."

The monster grabbed Dawn by the arm and brought her closer, sniffing her through his large nostrils. "Yummy child!" It roared and salivated.

Dawn kicked the monster in the knee. It let go of her arm and stepped back. Dawn picked up the clipboard and began slapping the monster with it, until the monster was whimpering and backed up against the wall of the adjacent building.

"Yummy child! Stop! Hurts! Hungry." The monster whimpered, trying, unsuccessfully to shield itself from Dawn's blows.

"I'm!" Dawn punctuated her words with swings of the clipboard. "Not! A! Child!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

The monster screamed back and then ran.

Dawn threw the clipboard after it. "And stay away!"

* * *

Dawn managed to find the counter ointment easily enough. The blue gooey liquid was no better than the red stuff, but the effect was about the same. Once she was covered in it, she stood in front of the bathroom mirror and unwished her wishes. The liquid coalesced into a face. "It is undone," it whispered before evaporating into thin air.

Taking a deep breath, Dawn stepped out of the bathroom, only to be met by a wall of glaring people.

"Hi." Dawn waved.

"Dawn." Buffy stepped forward.

"I know, I know. I have homework to do and I'll make you all cookies and I'll clean the store for the next two weeks."

"Three weeks," Anya interjected. "To pay for the Grodjinin ointment and counter ointment."

"Okay, Giles," Buffy started. "We have a demon to get."

"Um, Buffy?"

Buffy turned to her little sister. "Yes, Dawn?"

Dawn hesitated, "I kind of beat the demon up and made it scream and run away."

"You did what?" Buffy's eyes grew wide.

"Well, it was trying to eat me. And, you guys. So I hit it. A lot. With a clipboard. Until it screamed and ran away. I think it was crying."

Buffy was silent for a moment, then she started laughing.

She reached over and pulled Dawn into a hug. "My little sister's growing up."

Dawn smiled.

Buffy pulled back and looked at her sternly. "If I ever hear about you doing anything like that again, I am so telling mom."

Dawn sighed. "I'm going home." Dawn pushed passed the group, out towards the front of the store. As she passed the Grodjinin display, she picked up a bottle of the red ointment and slipped it into her pocket.

Someday things would change.


End file.
